Konenki: Finding Renewal Through the Perimenopause to Menopause Transition
The words we use matter.
When we talk about the perimenopause to menopause transition, the conversation is often framed around symptoms, challenges, and what we might feel we are losing. Changes in our hormones can affect our sleep, mood, confidence, energy levels, and wellbeing, sometimes leaving us feeling like we've lost touch with the person we once were.
Scientifically, this happens because fluctuating levels of oestrogen and progesterone influence key systems in the body including the brain, thermoregulation, sleep architecture, and stress response, which can create the emotional and physical shifts many women experience.
But what if we viewed this life stage differently?
In Japan, the term often used for the perimenopause to menopause transition is konenki (更年期), which translates to “renewal years” or “a period of regeneration and change”. Rather than focusing solely on an ending, it acknowledges a natural transition from one stage of life to another.
I love this perspective because it encourages us to see the perimenopause to menopause transition not as something to endure, but as a time of reflection, growth, and renewal.
Giving Yourself Permission to Be Kind
Many of the women I support have spent years putting everyone else first.
They are caring for children, supporting ageing parents, managing careers, running households, and showing up for everyone around them. They are often experts at caring for others but much less comfortable caring for themselves.
Then perimenopause arrives.
Suddenly, the strategies that always worked may not feel quite so effective. Energy levels fluctuate. Sleep becomes disrupted. Concentration can suffer. Emotions may feel closer to the surface.
The natural response for many women is frustration.
“Why can’t I cope like I used to?” “What’s wrong with me?”
The answer is simple: nothing is wrong with you.
Your body is adapting to significant hormonal changes, and that deserves understanding rather than criticism.
A Time to Listen to Yourself
The perimenopause to menopause transition can be a powerful invitation to pause and reconnect with your own needs.
Perhaps for the first time in years, your mind and body are asking to be listened to.
This may mean:
Creating stronger boundaries
Prioritising rest
Moving your body in ways that feel good
Asking for support
Letting go of unrealistic expectations
Making time for things that bring you joy
These aren’t selfish acts. They are necessary acts of self‑care.
Renewal Rather Than Loss
I often encourage women to think about what they are gaining during this phase of life, not just what they perceive they may be losing.
Many women discover a greater sense of confidence, wisdom, self‑awareness, and authenticity during this transition.
There can be a growing willingness to speak up, say no without guilt, and make decisions based on what truly matters.
That feels very much in keeping with the idea of konenki.
Renewal doesn’t mean everything feels easy. It doesn’t mean symptoms should be ignored or that support isn’t needed. It simply means recognising that periods of change can also create opportunities for growth.
Small Acts of Self‑Compassion
Being kind to yourself doesn’t have to involve major lifestyle changes.
Sometimes it starts with:
Speaking to yourself more kindly
Celebrating small wins
Resting when you need to rest
Asking for help when you need it
Accepting that some days will be easier than others
The way we talk to ourselves during challenging times matters. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, try not to say it to yourself.
Embracing Your Konenki
The perimenopause to menopause transition is exactly that: a transition.
It is not a sign that your best years are behind you.
Perhaps the Japanese concept of konenki offers us a more compassionate lens through which to view this chapter. Rather than focusing solely on symptoms or what has changed, we can also recognise the potential for renewal, self‑discovery, and growth.
So as you navigate this transition, remember to be gentle with yourself.
Your body is adapting. Your needs are evolving. And you deserve the same kindness and compassion that you so freely give to everyone else.
After all, this isn’t simply a time of change. It may also be a time of renewal.
If You’d Like Support
If you're navigating perimenopause or menopause and would like gentle, evidence‑based support, you can book a Menopause Wellbeing Session with me. Together, we can explore what your body is telling you, create practical strategies that feel achievable, and help you move through this transition with more clarity, confidence, and compassion.